Monday, September 30, 2002

    This is another diary of mine.  In the beginning, I recall my keeping a diary in my early teens.  At that time no one encouraged me, who seemed premature, to write down what happened in the passage of the days.  I scribbled on the paper in Chinese without deep thoughts or much personal reaction toward life in it.  At best, it was just like my simple record of life as a junior high school student.                       
    Opening the old diaries, many events seemed unfamiliar to me because they happened about thirty years ago.  But some were so deeply impressive that my memories suddenly flashed back to my youth.  Besides dreams, I believe this is another way to pick up my lost memories that always comfort me in the nonstop life journey.  And I am not sure if I am one of the people who are sentimental enough to cherish the past time.  However, I was doomed to be this type of person from my first day to be born in the backcountry.  Maybe I was premature physically and mentally; therefore, I was supposed to bear overweight troubles elusive to the peers or my teachers in those days.  They just regarded me as a youth melancholic and pessimistic.  What’s more, it was not my type to ask for aid from the elders.  In this aspect, I found I was the shadow of my father. 
    Consequently, the result was my deeper thoughts on life and luckily, I didn’t go to extremes even in my dangerous adolescence partly due to my personalities and partly due to my family background and the surroundings in a teaching normal college where we were disciplined to be teachers.  Now the stormy period has left me very far away but David, my elder son, has entered his unavoidable times in his puberty.  I have my personal experiences but I am not sure if I can see him through the storms.  Anyway, I will do my best.  So I have to keep a diary to make a true record.  In addition, I gradually found that I have developed the habits of writing down what happened in my daily life.  It’s my personal windfall or serendipity.